The Committee* announces expeditions when the Committee is ready, which is to say sporadically. Each is set out below with its own appointed hour, and the appointed hour is sacred: stragglers shall be left to languish in the car park.

Ambitions range from the gentle constitutional ramble to the ill-advised assault upon Aberdeenshire's cruellest and least forgiving peaks. Summits are attempted only where the gradient permits conversation, and we turn back at the first sign of weather, of which Aberdeenshire provides a great deal.

Well-bred canine companions are cordially welcomed, provided they possess adequate stamina, joie de vivre, and a surer sense of direction than the Committee.

Membership is free and perpetual. It is also of no consequence whatever, and may be laid down at any moment without notice.

Graham Norton will not be in attendance, despite persistent rumours.

Join us on Spond to receive expedition dispatches and express your fervent desire to attend.

Departure from the group is equally straightforward - no awkward farewells required.

Your particulars shall be guarded unto death - neither thumbscrews nor rack shall extract them from our custody.